Thursday, October 20, 2016

My Soft Place to Fall

I have been through quite a transformation over the past few years. It's almost too impossible to even explain all the events so lets just say this. 

The range of emotions has been extreme....from anger, rage, pity, depression, disappointment and feelings of failure, to gratitude, and success, feeling on top of the world because I had finally achieved what I had always wanted....But then....

Then, the fall. It happened so quickly, yet looking back it was a slow process.  I was given and achieved so much, only to have it taken away. People I trusted turned on me, my mind and body gave way to chronic pain and fatigue. It all came to a screeching and heart wrenching halt. 

...this one thing remained. 

My love for my God, my husband and family, and for my role as the homemaker. 

So when my big plans began to crumble I could always come back to what was truly important and that is my role in my home and in my community.  

It is for this reason that I have recommitted myself to my happy homemaker blog and postings in order to encourage all women to embrace their inner happy homemaker (married or single - you are a homemaker) and learn all there is possible to make sure this role you are honored to possess becomes your soft place to fall as it did for me when the world became too harsh and unforgiving.

I fell back on the joy of homemaking, mentoring younger women, and reconnecting to my true self and I found myself again.  

That is why I am Super EXCITED to help promote the 

2016 Homemaking Ministries Conference.  

It is doubly satisfying that the topics on are finding balance since the whole reason for this blog I have been writing since 2009 was to find balance for myself as I raised 5 children and worked 30 hours a week outside the home. 

So read below to find out how you can join and get all the bonuses, information, downloads, etc. to encourage you to embrace your inner happy homemaker and finally end the struggle of feeling guilty because you can't seem to get it all done.  

The 3rd annual Homemaking Ministries Online Conference
kicks off next week and when you purchase a premium ticket by October 20th, you will also get access to an incredible audio series bonus.

It’s a fantastic 7 part audio series that covers:
  • Avoiding burn out and letting go of GUILT when we do invest a little in ourselves
  • Making time for what you love (in 15 minutes a day)
  • Taking care of yourself – exercise and eating well
  • Investing in your Spiritual Life
  • Giving yourself GRACE…especially when life falls apart
  • Wrapping it all together for God’s Glory! 

This audio series will normally sell for $25, but when you purchase a premium ticket by Thursday, you get it as a FREE bonus in addition to a ticket to this incredible conference. But don’t wait! This free bonus is good for only a few days…

Come on over and check out all the amazing sessions, speakers, and bonuses you get with this year’s conference and I hope to connect with you further this week in the private Facebook group for all attendees!

Jenny May


If you have questions email me:

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Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Fascinating Womanhood Wardrobe - Modest Wardrobe Essentials

Dear Friend,

I am writing this to you today as one woman to another. I do not mean to judge or criticize, but just inform you on how to dress modest, comfortable, and stylish in the 21st century.  

This is a special note to those women following, learning, and living by the principles of Fascinating Womanhood.  If you would like to learn more about the 14-week Fascinating Womanhood – 101 webinar click here.

Below is a simple guide to modest wardrobe essentials that I have found useful over the past several years. 

1. 2-4 Comfortable "house dresses" (outfits you can clean and cook in). These are cute, comfortable, outfits that can be worn while cooking, cleaning, etc...but won’t get you put on the Don’t list.  I’m tired of seeing woman covered in manly sweatpants and jogging suits!  It’s not hard, nor is it expensive to look cute and work around your home.  Here are some examples.  Plus, you will feel better about yourself and not worried about who you will run in to if you have to pick up your kids to stop in at the grocery store!

2. Modest outfits for Work – it’s the 21st Century many happy homemakers work outside the home.  I was one of them!  I found it useful to have the following to stay stylish, comfortable, professional, and modest in my job outside the home.

 A. 2-4 Pairs of dress pants & mid-length or long skirts in various colors. (Navy, Black, Grey, and Cream) - Make sure they fit, buy a size up and cut the tag out.  It is better to be a little lose than too tight. 

B. 5-10 Stylish tops ranging in color and fabric that was comfortable and easy to clean, and in colors that complimented my skin tone and eye color.  We are all different so I can’t tell you what to purchase, just get your husband or a friends opinion.  I liked to have several colored button down shirts, several flowing feminine tops – solid or floral, several white tops (wear with a camisole underneath please), a classic white button down shirt and at least one super fun trendy top.

C. Comfortable shoes, 1-2 inch heel, black, brown, nude or tan. Pointy or round toe, but do NOT have toe cleavage…that is too sexy and immodest, especially for the work environment.

D. Appropriate undergarments!  Be comfortable and buy a couple of good fitting bras, you will be SO happy that you did.  Also make sure that your foundation garments also double to conceal, support, and shape your beautiful womanly figure.

E. A classic sheath dress in dark color. (Black, Navy, Dark Brown, Dark Pink, Dark Grey)  This is a staple and can be paired with …
        A. Sweater set
        B. Suit jacket, or other cute sport jacket or jean jacket or other.
        c. Classic button down shirt

F. A couple fun dresses in a style, shape, fabric, or pattern that is flattering to you.  

3. Modest night wear - It's okay to wear comfortable clothing to sleep in, however, your husband will appreciate a cute night gown once in awhile.  I like to have at least 4-6 so I can rotate often.  You can find reasonably priced, nice sleep wear at JCP.  

  Striped Dresses, comes in black or ivory

 You can be cute, comfortable, stylish, and modest in the 21st century - no matter what your age.  I LOVE that the maxi skirts and dresses are back in style.  You can wear them with so many different things and they can be worn year round.

 Other Staples

·       1-2 maxi- skirts or dresses
·       2 jean jackets (white and blue or black)
·       Several scarfs
·       Cardigan sweater or wrap
·       Nice fitting jeans for colder days outside, trips to the park or pumpkin patch, etc.

Thanks for reading,



Comment below.

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

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5. How to develop Inner Serenity and an Angelic Character ( week 7)
6. How to become a Happy Homemaker (21st century style) ( week 8 )
7. Introduction to Understanding Men (3 webinars, week 9, 10,11)
—Sympathetic Understanding & Pandora’s Box
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—–Childlike anger, response, and childlike ways
9. Fascinating Womanhood applied to Sex. (week 14)
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jeff jen2010

Monday, May 2, 2016


Does your husband need a 

sledgehammer to get to your heart? 


I know my husband did.  

It was not a pretty sight either.  Lots of fighting, crying, yelling, and fits of rage.  You name it….we did it.  I did it.  I was not willing to be vulnerable.  

After reading many books on how to save my marriage, the main theme was always this. “If it is to be…it is up to me”.  If you want change in your life, marriage, relationship, career, it is all up to you.  
Through my study of how to have the “perfect” marriage, I learned about how important it was for my husband and family to see my softer side, my imperfect side. (silently cringe)
It was not an easy road and I am sad to say I did not make it easy for him to love me.  He literally had to use a sledgehammer to get through to my heart.  I had been hurt so many times and in so many ways that I had, by the age of 40, built quite a large wall of stone around my heart. 
I found that I could feel true love for my children but when it came to anyone else. Especially my husband.  I was very closed off.  I believed that I did not care either way if he left me or not.  I would be fine on my own.
A good friend in Christ pointed something out and said “If you can’t feel love for your husband, how can you love God?”  She was right.  My heart was a steal trap, a concrete wall, a vault.  I claimed to love God but how could I really love when I did not truly love my husband. Marriage signifies the relationship between Christ and his church?  Oh my!  I had to do something about this.
For me it was a program at church that addressed my issues of codependency that help to start to tear down this wall, but mainly it was God and my willingness to be vulnerable.  I hated it at first.  Showing my husband my weakness.  Being humble, and a more quiet and gentle person.  It also meant that even if I knew I was right about something it was better to drop it than cause a fight.  It went against every fiber of my being.  But slowly….God changed my heart, and then my marriage.
The reward was so much sweeter than any wife could imagine.  A husband who made a complete 360 change.  He was much kinder, gentler, and if he wasn’t, I could talk to him about it, and he would actually listen and try to do better.  What happened with our relationship was this.  A miracle.  
First I made changes; to be more kind, more considerate, more gentle, and loving, and show him my softer side, even when I didn’t want to.  I cultivated a deeper respect for him by looking to his better side.  I showed him respect by not arguing about everything he wanted to do, and thinking about his needs before my own.  Within a few weeks we had a different relationship completely.  
We have had A LOT of help through the years since this transition, and at times, I’ve not been at my best, nor he at his.  But what is different is that we are able to work through issues without the sledgehammer.  
jeffjen love 2011
My charge for you today is to allow yourselves to be vulnerable.  Let down a little and just see how differently people react to you.  This is not only important in your relationship with your husband but also with relationships in general; parents, children, co-workers and friends.
If you would love for this kind of change in your own life, but are not sure how to go about doing it I welcome you to learn more about the specific steps I took to change my marriage.
Click this link to learn more about my May-June Program – an 8-week online class entitled;
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    • The classes will look into the characteristics of the Captivating Woman.
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      • Module 6 – A Captivating woman is Grateful
      • Module 7 – A Captivating Woman is Sensual
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Create the Marriage of your Dreams!    

jeff jen2010

Become the fascinating woman you desire.

jen at the pool lounging

Live your life with radiant self-confidence.

SSL 250x223Click here to sign up for your complimentary 1:1 session to learn more about all the Health Living Made Easy programs.

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Jennifer Cross

Jennifer Cross, MS, LPC, CHC, Counselor, Speaker, Life Coach who helps woman to achieve a happy, healthy lifestyle that is flexible, fun and long-lasting. Jennifer provides a personalized road-map to health and wellness that suits each unique body, lifestyle, and set of goals. Click here to continue or begin your health journey with Jennifer.

Monday, December 30, 2013

Proverbs 31:21 - She is not Afraid

"She is not afraid of the snow for her houshold;
For all her household are clothed with scarlet."

Happy New Year Dolls!

I am so excited to be back to blogging.  Some of you may not know that I was hit by a car 2 and a half years ago and have been in recovery.  It is strange how being physically injured can affect your mental stability - but it does!  I went through a terrible time of depression, gained 45 pounds, and suffered with pain for two solid years. Just managing the activities of daily living took all of my strength and it took me away from blogging but I now have a whole new respect for people who are living with daily pain. God is good.  He saw me through to this day when I recommit myself to living a life of peace and simplicity.  Living the ways of a proverbs 31 woman.  

Currently this is what my life looks like.  I have a wonderfully supportive husband who travels often as a national sales manager.  I am VERY proud of him and his name is Jeff. Here we are a couple years ago on an air plane off to Clearwater Florida for a romantic get away!  Thank you frequent flyer miles!

I have 3 children living at home; 17 yr old daughter and two 19 year old boys/men and two 23 year old young adults; One who is married and one who is on his own.  It's like living in a college dorm!!  I have to admit that I struggle with the mess in their rooms and have to consciously prevent myself from obsessing over it.  I just shut the door because I am trying to give them they space that they need to grow into adults.  Plus I don't want to be a nag or whiner and have been told that I expect things to be cleaner than most people.  

Some of us on vacation - missing John and Kevin

Kevin who now lives on his own

Me with my son John on his high school graduation day - June 2013

My married daughter Elizabeth with her husband Krist - Christmas 2013

I also have two cats - Romeo and Juliette and a sweet doggie named Betsy.  

I achieved my masters in counseling in June of 2013 and started my own health coaching private practice.  I see clients some evenings and Saturday mornings.  I also teach classes on food and sugar addiction a couple times a month as well as sell Usana health and wellness products.  

Yes, I am busy.  I manage the home and my other responsibilities by being organized and keeping it simple!  I don't complicate my life with drama and I live life based on my moral code which is God, Husband, Family. Because I always make decisions based on these priorities I find myself a very happy person!  

I keep my home simple by always de-cluttering every couple of weeks by loading up a box or large bag to take to Savers or Goodwill.  I keep it all simple; my home, my food, and the food I feed my family, and my social life.  Spiritually I am a christian women who attends the Chicago Church of Christ in Wheaton, IL.  I have an awesome church family and would not be happy without them!  Because I have balanced my relationships, spirituality, career, with physical activity I feel amazing even though I still have 25 pounds left to lose! I have lost 20 pounds and am well on my way to losing the rest I am happy to say.  I don't have too much pain any more accept for my ankle and elbow but nothing like what I was dealing with prior to a few months ago and have started walking and jogging a few times a week.  My motto for 2014 is Pure Simplicity!

I am resigned to a life a pure simplicity in 2014.  

So enough about me...on to our study...

I love the poetry in proverbs 31.  The the Middletown Bible Church has done a great study on the Proverbs 31 woman.  Please enjoy the below excerpt from their blog.  here is the link...

Proverbs 31:21

Snow in Palestine occasionally occurs, but when it does snow it rarely reaches any great depth.  During some winters it may not snow at all. "A fall of snow in the rainy season of winter is not rare in Palestine...and is sometimes accompanied with freezing cold" (Keil & Delitzsch).  The Bible mentions snow a number of times (Psalm 51:7; Proverbs 26:1; Isaiah 1:18), but only records one instance where snow fell:  "And Benaiah the son of Jehoiada, the son of a valiant man, of Kabzeel, who had done many acts, he slew two lionlike men of Moab: he went down also and slew a lion in the midst of a pit in time of snow" (2 Sam. 23:20; compare 1 Chron. 11:22).
The virtuous woman, always concerned about the welfare of her family, is not afraid of the snow.  Snow is here a symbol of the cold that accompanies it. She is not afraid of the cold because she has made preparations ahead of time to dress her family in warm clothing.  "Household" may also include servants.
Her household was "clothed with scarlet."   The scarlet color (compare Isaiah 1:18 and Joshua 2:18 where the same word is used), of itself, did nothing to warm them.  "The scarlet clothing is of wool, which as such preserves warmth, and, as high-coloured, appears at the same time dignified (2 Sam. 1:24)" (Keil & Delitzsch, see under Proverbs 31:21).  Thus they were protected by the wool and the scarlet provided ornamentation.  "Scarlet" is "obtained from the Tola, a cochineal-like insect, which, being crushed, produces a fine deep red, or rich crimson dye, much admired by the Orientals. It is the 'worm' of Psalm 22:6, to which our Lord likens Himself, He who was bruised and slain that all His redeemed might be clothed in splendor for eternity" (Ironside, Proverbs/Song of Solomon, pages 477-488).
One lesson here is that believers and the children of godly parents do not need to be dressed in dull clothing.  Drabness and dullness of apparel do not add to one's spirituality. There seems to be an allowance for clothing that is colorful and attractive.  At the same time dress should be modest and should not unnecessarily draw attention to self or to one's body.
Note:  The LXX and Vulgate translate "scarlet" as "double-garments" or "doubly-clothed."  It is from a different Hebrew word which is very close in appearance to the Hebrew word for "scarlet."  See Unger's Commentary on the Old Testament.  This meaning would make sense with respect to the cold of winter.

I hope you enjoyed today's was Long over due!  I am forever grateful to my followers and enjoy your comments and feedback.  Please post your blog site as well so I can visit you while on a coffee break!

Be Well!


Saturday, February 9, 2013

Proverbs 31:20 - "she opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy"

image from

Proverbs 31:20 - "she opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy"

Ti's the season for Giving...and the perfect time to meditate over the scripture about charity.

I have always loved to give back to the community.  Although I have never worked in a soup kitchen.  I have had several jobs in nursing homes and been involved with church or community organizations that made sure to take care of the poor and needy on a regular basis.  My parents also raised us with a sense of duty and community and still to this day my father does Meals on Wheels.  One Christmas in particular my 10 year old son was quite disappointed that we were going to spend the morning of Christmas Eve delivering meals to the elderly.  He reluctantly came along but as we left each house his mood brightened.

The shut in's were so happy to see us, to shaky our hands and to see my small children s smiling faces.  They loved to touch their soft smiling cheeks and chubby hands.

Please remember to allow yourself and your loved ones the pleasure and honor of serving others.  You get so much more back in return.  It is SOO much better to give than receive.  My son has grown into a mature, generous, kind, and loving young man who understands that giving is an honor and it feels really good!

Side Note:  I had meant to publish this post at the beginning of Dec...goes to show you that 2012 was a crazy year for me.  I did find time to give.  Free career counseling, resume reviews, or health coaching for individuals with no insurance.  I always enjoy this time with the individual I am able to help because they are so grateful and I feel like I have contributed something positive to society.  You may not be one for working in a soup kitchen but maybe you can offer your services to the community in other ways.  I can promise that you will never regret this time you give because you get it all back 10 fold!  

I encourage you continue your study with the Middletown Church series on the Proverbs 31 woman.

Kisses and Hugs, 

Proverbs 31:20

She stretcheth out her hand to the poor;
yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

Compare an earlier verse in the same Proverb:  "Plead the cause of the poor and needy" (verse 9).

Verse 20 is an example of parallelism that is found so often in Hebrew poetry. In these two phrases parallel ideas are set forth, with the second phrase saying basically the same thing as the first phrase, with only minor variations.  Both phrases emphasize the fact that the virtuous woman has compassion toward the poor and needy and she shows her compassion with concrete deeds of mercy.  She loves the poor, not in word or in tongue only, but also in deed and in truth (1 John 3:16-18).   

The word "poor" means "afflicted, humble."   It is used of those who are physically and materially poor as in Proverbs 31:20, and it is also used of believers who recognize their spiritual poverty and bankruptcy ("I am poor and needy"--see Psalm 40:17; 70:5; 109:22; 34:6).  No one can make progress in his spiritual life until he realizes how desperately needy he really is, and recognizes that only the Lord can supply that which is needed.   

God's people are to have a heart of compassion for those who are physically and materially poor and needy.  In the law, God told the Israelites that the gleanings from their vineyards and fields should be left for the poor of the land (Lev. 19:10; 23:22). The godly woman of Proverbs 31 faithfully obeyed the following command: "For the poor shall never cease out of the land: therefore I command thee, saying, Thou shalt open thine hand wide unto thy brother, to thy poor, and to thy needy, in thy land." (Deut. 15:11).  Early in Proverbs 31, believers are encouraged to plead the cause of the poor (verse 9).   In Proverbs 14:21 a benediction is pronounced upon those who show compassion to the poor and help them: "He that despiseth his neighbour sinneth: but he that hath mercy on the poor, happy is he." 

To read the rest go to....